I'll get a world record for this.
Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press.
Hey, there's no handles inside these car doors!
It's fireproof.
He's probably just hibernating.
What does this button do?
I'm making a citizen's arrest.
So, you're a cannibal...
It's probably just a rash.
Why am I standing on a plastic sheet?
Are you SURE the power if off?
Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?
The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!
What duck?
What do you mean, "I'll be back"?
Pull the pin and count to what?
Which wire was I supposed to cut?
I've seen this done on TV.
I'll hold it and you light the fuse.
It can't possibly rain for forty days and nights.
Give me liberty or give me death.
It's strong enough for both of us.
This doesn't taste right.
I can make the light before it changes.
Nice doggie.
I can do that with my eyes closed.
I've done this before.
Well, we've made it this far.
That's odd.
You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?
OK. This is the last time.
Don't be so superstitious.
Now watch this!
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Bored in Class?
WARNING: Do not do all of them in one class.
1. Try to develop psychic powers, then use 'em.
2. Inflate a beachball and throw it around the room.
3. Sing showtunes.
4. Fake a seizure
5. Make loud animal noises then deny doing it.
6. Think of new pick up lines. See if they work.
7. Pretend you're flying a jet fighter in the Gulf War.
8. Churn some butter.
9. Conceive a brand new language.
10. Walls made of brick. Count 'em.
11. Think of nicknames for everyone you know.
12. See how long you can hold your breath.
13. Chew on your arm until someone notices.
14. Change seats every three minutes.
15. Think of five new ways to cheat at Trivial Pursuit
16. Shave.
17. Run across the room, tag someone and say, "You're it!"
18. Think of five new ways to use your shoes.
19. Start a wave.
20. Walk around the room begging for spare change.
21. Roast marshmallows.
22. Practice phrasing your answers in the form of a question.
23. Crawl around the room humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
24. Take apart your desk.
25. Tear pages out of your notebook.
26. Pretend to communicate with your home planet.
27. Play rock-paper-scissors with yourself. Accuse your left hand of cheating.
28. Do a quick tapdance routine.
29. Play with matches.
30. Try birdwatching.
31. Scratch yourself. Alot.
32. Walk up the aisle yelling, "Popcorn! Hot popcorn here!"
33. Throw your backpack at someone.
34. Draw on your stomach.
35. Run to the window, then say, "Sorry, I thought I saw the Bat signal."
36. Ask the person in front of you to marry you.
37. Start laughing really hard and say, "Oh! Now I get it!"
38. Make a sundial.
39. Bite people.
40. Summarize the teachings of Socrates in 50 words or less.
41. Give yourself a new identity.
42. Write a screenplay about a diabetic Swedish girl who can't swim.
43. Dig an escape tunnel.
44. Announce your candidacy for President.
45. Learn to tie your shoes with one hand.
46. See how many push-ups you can do.
47. Run with scissors.
48. Write stupid lists
1. Try to develop psychic powers, then use 'em.
2. Inflate a beachball and throw it around the room.
3. Sing showtunes.
4. Fake a seizure
5. Make loud animal noises then deny doing it.
6. Think of new pick up lines. See if they work.
7. Pretend you're flying a jet fighter in the Gulf War.
8. Churn some butter.
9. Conceive a brand new language.
10. Walls made of brick. Count 'em.
11. Think of nicknames for everyone you know.
12. See how long you can hold your breath.
13. Chew on your arm until someone notices.
14. Change seats every three minutes.
15. Think of five new ways to cheat at Trivial Pursuit
16. Shave.
17. Run across the room, tag someone and say, "You're it!"
18. Think of five new ways to use your shoes.
19. Start a wave.
20. Walk around the room begging for spare change.
21. Roast marshmallows.
22. Practice phrasing your answers in the form of a question.
23. Crawl around the room humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
24. Take apart your desk.
25. Tear pages out of your notebook.
26. Pretend to communicate with your home planet.
27. Play rock-paper-scissors with yourself. Accuse your left hand of cheating.
28. Do a quick tapdance routine.
29. Play with matches.
30. Try birdwatching.
31. Scratch yourself. Alot.
32. Walk up the aisle yelling, "Popcorn! Hot popcorn here!"
33. Throw your backpack at someone.
34. Draw on your stomach.
35. Run to the window, then say, "Sorry, I thought I saw the Bat signal."
36. Ask the person in front of you to marry you.
37. Start laughing really hard and say, "Oh! Now I get it!"
38. Make a sundial.
39. Bite people.
40. Summarize the teachings of Socrates in 50 words or less.
41. Give yourself a new identity.
42. Write a screenplay about a diabetic Swedish girl who can't swim.
43. Dig an escape tunnel.
44. Announce your candidacy for President.
45. Learn to tie your shoes with one hand.
46. See how many push-ups you can do.
47. Run with scissors.
48. Write stupid lists
Theory Student's Nightmare
I think that I shall never be
Conductor of a symphony!
A band of players so elite
Would cringe each time I tapped the beat.
In concert black with white baton,
I'd stare out pop-eyed at the throng.
With shaking knees and sweaty palms,
I'd raise my stick & bring it down.
At once the flutes began too shrill -
The violins joined with a will
WAIT! That's a rest! WHY do the play?
I knew that this was not my day.
I peered at my conductor's score.
I flipped a page and then three more...
Compound meters, triple beats,
C-clefs, solos, hordes of keys!
The deafening din of snare drums' rattle
Reminded me of stampeding cattle.
They must be stopped before the crowd
Revolted in an ugly battle!
I yelled at them with all my power
Then woke to my floorleaders glower.
"Did you forget?
It's QUIET HOURS!"
~ A. Nonnymous (a PCC student)
Conductor of a symphony!
A band of players so elite
Would cringe each time I tapped the beat.
In concert black with white baton,
I'd stare out pop-eyed at the throng.
With shaking knees and sweaty palms,
I'd raise my stick & bring it down.
At once the flutes began too shrill -
The violins joined with a will
WAIT! That's a rest! WHY do the play?
I knew that this was not my day.
I peered at my conductor's score.
I flipped a page and then three more...
Compound meters, triple beats,
C-clefs, solos, hordes of keys!
The deafening din of snare drums' rattle
Reminded me of stampeding cattle.
They must be stopped before the crowd
Revolted in an ugly battle!
I yelled at them with all my power
Then woke to my floorleaders glower.
"Did you forget?
It's QUIET HOURS!"
~ A. Nonnymous (a PCC student)
Saving Laughs Just in Case
So, I'm not sure at all whether or not I've typed these up on here before or not, BUT, I'm putting them up now because I'm about to throw away the hard copies. Cleaning out my house in order to get ready for Squishie coming in May. That is all.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Life is Ever Changing
I mean, I knew that. Really, I did. But SO much has changed since September. And it all started with a statement made by my coworkers on Monday, October 3, 2011. I had spent part of the weekend before that work week up in PA with my family and had eaten all kinds of different foods that my body was no longer used to. GOOD food, but not necessarily healthy food. So it wasn't any surprise to me that I wasn't feeling quite up to par on Monday morning. Then, as I was talking to Catherine (a close coworker), Kim (our office manager) walked up to join the conversation. And I almost immediately felt sick to my stomach and started dry heaving. Grabbed for my trash can, but thankfully didn't need it. Take one Wild guess at what that statement was. Go ahead..You might be right. Kim looked at me and said...."You're pregnant." "No, I'm not," I replied "I think I just ate something funky up in PA this weekend."
"Nope. You're pregnant." Kim declared.
Well, knowing my body and how out of whack it has always been, I keep pregnancy tests on hand at home. So when my alarm went off Tuesday morning (Oct. 4th), I took a test. And sat in my bathroom for the next fifteen minutes bawling my eyes out.
I've taken pregnancy test many times before. My period is almost non-existent so I keep those test "just in case". They've always taken a full minute to show the negative sign. But not this morning. On October 4, 2011, it took less than five seconds for that test to show as positive. I was pregnant. And in shock.
I just spent the last 4 months working out, eating right, and losing 34 lbs. And now...I was pregnant. That meant weight gain. Life change. A Baby! I didn't know what to do other than sit in my bathroom and cry. I was elated...I was going to have a baby. I was devastated...I was going to gain all the weight that I had worked so hard to lose...right back. I wanted to talk to Joseph...but he was still asleep and is never fond of being woken up before his alarm. Finally, I stopped crying and went through all the motions that it took to get ready for another day of work. Finished in the bathroom, I took the dogs downstairs to let them outside, and I called my mom.
Of course, it was only 4:30 in the morning so she didn't answer. Her cell phone was turned off. So was the house phone. I had to call my younger sister. Only she didn't answer, her voicemail did. Then she called back, because her phone had woke my mom and my mom woke her up to call me back. In tears, and barely understandable, I told my mom that I was pregnant. She congratulated me, then because she couldn't understand me through my tears, handed the phone back to Rachel and went back to bed. Really, Mom!?! So I had to share my elation and mostly my fears with my sister, finally calming down after Rachel stated, "Hannah, if God is giving you this baby now then He must believe you're ready to be a mother. He knows best."
After Joseph woke up, I did share the news with him albeit still in a slightly hysterical way. (Since I had had time to work myself up again.) He decided I wasn't fit to work and made me call off sick. Joseph did the same and we actually spent a very nice day together getting used to the idea.
Wednesday found me at my doctor's office for an appointment just to confirm the pregnancy. Not like that was hard. After two positive home tests...I was pretty sure it was for real.
This coming Sunday will make it two months that I've known about my baby and I can't even begin to explain the changes I've already gone through mentally. I still think some days that I'm not quite ready to be a mom, but when that happens I just remind myself that I still have 5 months to go before the baby will be here. I remind myself that God DOES know what's best for me. That He is in control and He's not going to give me any more than I can handle. I'm so excited about my baby now. I can't wait to meet him/her. So, until that day, I'm calling him Squishie. Makes it easier than calling the baby an "it" since I don't know the sex yet. Joseph does want to find out, so that announcement will be coming, but until then...Squishie will remain my baby without a color. Though...I just have to say...if Squishie's a girl....I really don't want alot of pink. Like...at all!
"Nope. You're pregnant." Kim declared.
Well, knowing my body and how out of whack it has always been, I keep pregnancy tests on hand at home. So when my alarm went off Tuesday morning (Oct. 4th), I took a test. And sat in my bathroom for the next fifteen minutes bawling my eyes out.
I've taken pregnancy test many times before. My period is almost non-existent so I keep those test "just in case". They've always taken a full minute to show the negative sign. But not this morning. On October 4, 2011, it took less than five seconds for that test to show as positive. I was pregnant. And in shock.
I just spent the last 4 months working out, eating right, and losing 34 lbs. And now...I was pregnant. That meant weight gain. Life change. A Baby! I didn't know what to do other than sit in my bathroom and cry. I was elated...I was going to have a baby. I was devastated...I was going to gain all the weight that I had worked so hard to lose...right back. I wanted to talk to Joseph...but he was still asleep and is never fond of being woken up before his alarm. Finally, I stopped crying and went through all the motions that it took to get ready for another day of work. Finished in the bathroom, I took the dogs downstairs to let them outside, and I called my mom.
Of course, it was only 4:30 in the morning so she didn't answer. Her cell phone was turned off. So was the house phone. I had to call my younger sister. Only she didn't answer, her voicemail did. Then she called back, because her phone had woke my mom and my mom woke her up to call me back. In tears, and barely understandable, I told my mom that I was pregnant. She congratulated me, then because she couldn't understand me through my tears, handed the phone back to Rachel and went back to bed. Really, Mom!?! So I had to share my elation and mostly my fears with my sister, finally calming down after Rachel stated, "Hannah, if God is giving you this baby now then He must believe you're ready to be a mother. He knows best."
After Joseph woke up, I did share the news with him albeit still in a slightly hysterical way. (Since I had had time to work myself up again.) He decided I wasn't fit to work and made me call off sick. Joseph did the same and we actually spent a very nice day together getting used to the idea.
Wednesday found me at my doctor's office for an appointment just to confirm the pregnancy. Not like that was hard. After two positive home tests...I was pretty sure it was for real.
This coming Sunday will make it two months that I've known about my baby and I can't even begin to explain the changes I've already gone through mentally. I still think some days that I'm not quite ready to be a mom, but when that happens I just remind myself that I still have 5 months to go before the baby will be here. I remind myself that God DOES know what's best for me. That He is in control and He's not going to give me any more than I can handle. I'm so excited about my baby now. I can't wait to meet him/her. So, until that day, I'm calling him Squishie. Makes it easier than calling the baby an "it" since I don't know the sex yet. Joseph does want to find out, so that announcement will be coming, but until then...Squishie will remain my baby without a color. Though...I just have to say...if Squishie's a girl....I really don't want alot of pink. Like...at all!
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