I mean, I knew that. Really, I did. But SO much has changed since September. And it all started with a statement made by my coworkers on Monday, October 3, 2011. I had spent part of the weekend before that work week up in PA with my family and had eaten all kinds of different foods that my body was no longer used to. GOOD food, but not necessarily healthy food. So it wasn't any surprise to me that I wasn't feeling quite up to par on Monday morning. Then, as I was talking to Catherine (a close coworker), Kim (our office manager) walked up to join the conversation. And I almost immediately felt sick to my stomach and started dry heaving. Grabbed for my trash can, but thankfully didn't need it. Take one Wild guess at what that statement was. Go ahead..You might be right. Kim looked at me and said...."You're pregnant." "No, I'm not," I replied "I think I just ate something funky up in PA this weekend."
"Nope. You're pregnant." Kim declared.
Well, knowing my body and how out of whack it has always been, I keep pregnancy tests on hand at home. So when my alarm went off Tuesday morning (Oct. 4th), I took a test. And sat in my bathroom for the next fifteen minutes bawling my eyes out.
I've taken pregnancy test many times before. My period is almost non-existent so I keep those test "just in case". They've always taken a full minute to show the negative sign. But not this morning. On October 4, 2011, it took less than five seconds for that test to show as positive. I was pregnant. And in shock.
I just spent the last 4 months working out, eating right, and losing 34 lbs. And now...I was pregnant. That meant weight gain. Life change. A Baby! I didn't know what to do other than sit in my bathroom and cry. I was elated...I was going to have a baby. I was devastated...I was going to gain all the weight that I had worked so hard to lose...right back. I wanted to talk to Joseph...but he was still asleep and is never fond of being woken up before his alarm. Finally, I stopped crying and went through all the motions that it took to get ready for another day of work. Finished in the bathroom, I took the dogs downstairs to let them outside, and I called my mom.
Of course, it was only 4:30 in the morning so she didn't answer. Her cell phone was turned off. So was the house phone. I had to call my younger sister. Only she didn't answer, her voicemail did. Then she called back, because her phone had woke my mom and my mom woke her up to call me back. In tears, and barely understandable, I told my mom that I was pregnant. She congratulated me, then because she couldn't understand me through my tears, handed the phone back to Rachel and went back to bed. Really, Mom!?! So I had to share my elation and mostly my fears with my sister, finally calming down after Rachel stated, "Hannah, if God is giving you this baby now then He must believe you're ready to be a mother. He knows best."
After Joseph woke up, I did share the news with him albeit still in a slightly hysterical way. (Since I had had time to work myself up again.) He decided I wasn't fit to work and made me call off sick. Joseph did the same and we actually spent a very nice day together getting used to the idea.
Wednesday found me at my doctor's office for an appointment just to confirm the pregnancy. Not like that was hard. After two positive home tests...I was pretty sure it was for real.
This coming Sunday will make it two months that I've known about my baby and I can't even begin to explain the changes I've already gone through mentally. I still think some days that I'm not quite ready to be a mom, but when that happens I just remind myself that I still have 5 months to go before the baby will be here. I remind myself that God DOES know what's best for me. That He is in control and He's not going to give me any more than I can handle. I'm so excited about my baby now. I can't wait to meet him/her. So, until that day, I'm calling him Squishie. Makes it easier than calling the baby an "it" since I don't know the sex yet. Joseph does want to find out, so that announcement will be coming, but until then...Squishie will remain my baby without a color. Though...I just have to say...if Squishie's a girl....I really don't want alot of pink. Like...at all!
Friday, December 2, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
Crazy Posting
Ya'll may have noticed that my blog kinda got a bit overloaded with posts last night. You can blame that on or thank my sister for that. Whichever you prefer. She felt that I should copy over my blog posts from SparkPeople so that all my posts from anything were saved in one place. So I did.
I understand that to go from books to weight loss is a pretty drastic change in my blog, but since I haven't written pretty much anything at all since March about books, maybe it isn't so drastic after all.
I'll try to keep the actual weight posts to a minimum while copying over those that are more normal will continue.
Hope everyone is ready for Fall and that ya'll enjoy your Labor Day.
I understand that to go from books to weight loss is a pretty drastic change in my blog, but since I haven't written pretty much anything at all since March about books, maybe it isn't so drastic after all.
I'll try to keep the actual weight posts to a minimum while copying over those that are more normal will continue.
Hope everyone is ready for Fall and that ya'll enjoy your Labor Day.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Why September is NOT my favorite month of the year anymore
Thursday, September 01, 2011
I used to ADORE September. School had been in session for two or three weeks already and fall was in the air. Then, I grew up. And got a "real" job. And now...September is my LEAST favorite month. Let me explain.
I work for a company that resells IT equipment and maintenance to the government. September is the government's end of fiscal year. The month when they spend the most money. My job is to process the orders from the govt and to send the new orders to the vendors. It's relentless, mostly mindless work. I hate it on a normal day. In September, the work triples and quadruples. Breaks become a thing of the past. Eight hour days....what are those!?! Try 12 -16 hours on for size. My boss and her boss are insincerely sincere in their thanks and praise at the work getting done. What they're really saying when they say thank you in September is....why can't you work more hours in a day, and HOW did you NOT get all of your work done? Why didn't you ask for help if you were so far behind in your work? *Hannah's reply* Oh, you know...I really don't have THAT much work (sarcastically, of course). I really just like to talk my head off instead of work...no, wait...that's YOU!
Bitter? Absolutely. The thanks we do receive are all so two-faced and insincere that I have begun to abhore this job. One day, I'll get out of it. But, until that day...i'm going to continue disliking September.
I work for a company that resells IT equipment and maintenance to the government. September is the government's end of fiscal year. The month when they spend the most money. My job is to process the orders from the govt and to send the new orders to the vendors. It's relentless, mostly mindless work. I hate it on a normal day. In September, the work triples and quadruples. Breaks become a thing of the past. Eight hour days....what are those!?! Try 12 -16 hours on for size. My boss and her boss are insincerely sincere in their thanks and praise at the work getting done. What they're really saying when they say thank you in September is....why can't you work more hours in a day, and HOW did you NOT get all of your work done? Why didn't you ask for help if you were so far behind in your work? *Hannah's reply* Oh, you know...I really don't have THAT much work (sarcastically, of course). I really just like to talk my head off instead of work...no, wait...that's YOU!
Bitter? Absolutely. The thanks we do receive are all so two-faced and insincere that I have begun to abhore this job. One day, I'll get out of it. But, until that day...i'm going to continue disliking September.
exhausted and wanting a day off
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Of LIFE. I'm tired, worn out and ragged. I honestly don't WANT to go outside for my cardio workout today. I really just want to crawl into my bed, under the covers and go to sleep. Do you think anyone would mind if I did? Well, other than myself? I'd hate myself for letting points for my House slip by me. So, I'll get going now. To make food for dinner and then make my way outside to get my 30 minutes over with. Then, it's a shower and early bedtime for me, baby!
Summer Term Week 9 Day 2 aka Tuesday
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
I scared myself this morning when I was getting ready for work. I opened my ring box to put on my wedding band and engagement ring and neither one was in the box. I panicked. Couldn't remember having taken them off last night before bed. When did I take them off? *sigh of relief* Oh right, I took them off in the car to put lotion on my hands when I was driving home from work yesterday.
Continued as usual with my morning preparations, put the dogs in their kennels, and headed into the garage to leave for work. As I backed out of the garage and down the driveway, I slipped my rings onto my finger. It was then that I truly realized just how much I need to go to Claire's at the mall this week. Claire's was recommended to me since they carry plastic ring guards.
Once again, I was struck with what I have already accomplished. I've lost enough weight already that my hands have slimmed down. If I shake my hands to get the last bits of damp off of them after drying my hands, my rings slide down my finger to the point of falling off. I may not see my weight loss in my thighs, hips, belly, or arms, but my fingers show it. And THAT is incredibly encouraging to me.
I know I've lost weight. My clothes fit looser and I can wear medium tops without any reservations, but I still don't necessarily see any physical changes. So knowing and seeing the difference in my hands keeps me going. My rings were re-sized right after my engagement to my husband to size 5, then re-sized again after I gained weight to a size 8. I'm hoping to get that size down to a 4 before I'm done. And, by golly! I'm getting there!
Continued as usual with my morning preparations, put the dogs in their kennels, and headed into the garage to leave for work. As I backed out of the garage and down the driveway, I slipped my rings onto my finger. It was then that I truly realized just how much I need to go to Claire's at the mall this week. Claire's was recommended to me since they carry plastic ring guards.
Once again, I was struck with what I have already accomplished. I've lost enough weight already that my hands have slimmed down. If I shake my hands to get the last bits of damp off of them after drying my hands, my rings slide down my finger to the point of falling off. I may not see my weight loss in my thighs, hips, belly, or arms, but my fingers show it. And THAT is incredibly encouraging to me.
I know I've lost weight. My clothes fit looser and I can wear medium tops without any reservations, but I still don't necessarily see any physical changes. So knowing and seeing the difference in my hands keeps me going. My rings were re-sized right after my engagement to my husband to size 5, then re-sized again after I gained weight to a size 8. I'm hoping to get that size down to a 4 before I'm done. And, by golly! I'm getting there!
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