Friday, May 7, 2010

The Cliffs of Insanity and Back Again

Dear Mama-san,

Things at my house are mild compared to what's been happening at your's while you've been away.
But, I'm sure you figured that already. I'm much better at doing dishes than Rachel is even if Joseph doesn't agree with that statement. I trust you've been teaching Anna and Rose how to wash dishes better than their Aunt Rachel can wash dishes. At least they'll be able to help you out when they come up north to see you next. You can banish Aunt Rachel to scupping the pupe instead.

I have to admit, mother, that I would personally choose groundhogs over musically inclined, tap dancing roaches and mice. Groundhogs are bigger and therefore less creepy and crawly. However, I will attempt to make an intervention call on your behalf. It's the least I can do if I wish to have you visit me again this summer, right? Prove my worth at holding your house together from a distance. I can do this. I WILL do this!

If I knew where the freshly poured cement is going to be I might be able to keep the local wildlife (and newly domestic life) off of it, but come on, Mom, you know it's just too much fun to pass up leaving handprints for the future. Remember...we all did it when the carport was poured. Of course, Mr. Byler (did I spell his name right?) probably did have something to do with us actually having left our prints. And it's not like Pinky will have the presence of mind to actually make her prints deep enough to stay, right, Pinky? (say yes, might just save you from certain death when mom comes home and sees the prints you're bound and determined to make apparently.)

As for her being unruly - Mom, just THINK of what her kids are going to do to HER! *snicker* I can't WAIT to see that!

Can't say I blame her students for leaving the country. I'd be running too!! We may just have to get her that pretty purple jacket that we talked about last month and put her in her pretty blue room with the ONE window that overlooks her shiny things. This MAY save the lives of her students as I'm sure leaving her out of her blue room for one more day might drive them to absolute, distracted insanity.

No, my phone hasn't been ringing due to the two troublemakers still at home having been late to work. I finally blocked McD's and the school's numbers from my cell after one full weekend of them waking me up at 5 o'clock each morning.

I'll do my very best to help you out and get those two in line when I spend the weekend up north next week. Of course, with me going up there and you not being there I cannot guarantee that I won't help egg Rachel and Stephen into getting into more trouble once we've taken care of the bugs, dishes, mice, laundry, and rust stains.

You're the bestest mother in the whole world and I wouldn't trade you for anyone else.

Love you!


Diane said...

I was pleased with your post until you reached the part were you will probably egg them on. Okay, dance all creatures great and small out of the house; but don't blow it up!

Boomka said...

Oooo cucarachas. I do not like them. I do love my mother who also does not like the cucarachas. Meh. Blah.

Sheila (Bookjourney) said...

Fantastic post :)